I Close My Eyes

When I was three years old, when we were driving somewhere, I told my parents I wanted a baby brother. My parents said take it up with God because after 1 (near) perfect pregnancy (that would be me) and 1 incredibly rough pregnancy/delivery (that would be my sister), a third kid wasn’t likely to happen. They like to tell how it got quiet in the back seat, so my parents looked back and saw my little hands folded, my eyes shut, and my little mouth moving in a silent prayer for a baby brother. Five days after I turned 4 years old, my baby brother was born. When my mum went to the doctor, before he as born, they asked her if she wanted to know the gender of the new baby. She said nope, her daughter had prayed for a brother, so she knew it was a boy.

That was the first time I experienced the power of prayer.

Since then, I have seen it numerous times. Sometimes the answer is no; frustratingly enough the answer is often wait, and sometimes the answer is yes!

I have learned a few things over the years. Be specific in prayer. When I ask my daddy for something, I am usually specific because he has that same ornery streak I do and will look for loopholes just to watch the expression on my face. When I talk to my heavenly Father, I am specific because, well, humans had to get that ornery streak from somewhere…we all know God has a sense of humor. More importantly, He created the universe in 6 days. Why worry about asking Him for something specific? It’s not going to be too hard or impossible for Him. If He says no, then it’s not good for you at this point in time.

Don’t be afraid to claim God’s promises. We are told several times in Scriptures that vengeance belongs to God – not us. Nothing we as humans can do comes anywhere near to what God, El Elyon, God Most High, can and will do to those who harm His children. Several times in the last five years, I have thrice claimed that promise found first in Deuteronomy 32:35 and repeated in Romans 12:19 and cried out for God to wreak havoc on those who hurt me. I didn’t need to see it; I didn’t know when, though chances are I would hear of it. I knew He would handle it in the best way in His time.

It is pretty common for me to go running to my parents with an idea for project and later go back saying I changed my mind or tweaked it a bit.

One of those times I cried out for vengeance, I went back to God a couple years later and told Him that if He was still wanting to avenge the pain caused me, ok. I wasn’t going to ask for it anymore though. Instead, I asked He convict the person instead. Specifically, I have been asking that person be unable to sleep due to a feeling that something is wrong in his life. I have been asking that poking through his thoughts is the one thought that he is missing something in his life, that what he has been doing is wrong, and that he needs the forgiveness of sins offered by God. I was able to forgive this person for how he wronged me for 11 long, long months. When I realized I was no longer angry and hurt anytime I thought of this person, I realized I should no longer cry for vengeance. Instead, if I truly forgave him, I should be 100% concerned for the status of his eternal life and less concerned about what happened several year ago with his earthly life.

I am not ADD or ADHD….maybe some OCD tendencies. I am not easily distracted, but I am always or almost always alert – looking for potential threats, remaining aware of my surroundings. With the exception of when I am driving, I have started closing my eyes when I am talking to God. Not just closing them, but also covering them with my hands or arms (my eyes don’t always close all the way unless I focus on that which takes my focus away from God). My phone gets turned off; computer gets closed. I can focus on talking to God, one on One, with no outside distractions. Obviously when I’m driving, that cannot happen. During that time, it’s more like I’m talking to someone I can actually physically see where I go on rabbit trails or talk to myself after being reminded about something and have to figure out what I was telling God before that distraction.

The differences I’ve noticed are hard to describe, but I am going to try. When my eyes are open, without a face toward which I can direct my words, as already mentioned, it is a conversation all over the place. Unfocused, unpurposed, just random thoughts. There is not necessarily anything wrong with that. However, it’s not really prayer warrior worthy discussion. It’s not as serious. Obviously, you’ll still see answers, but I personally do not feel as though that should be the norm for talking to God when it comes to requests such as vengeance, conviction, healing, protection, etc.

That is why I close my eyes. If I don’t have a face towards which I direct my attention, I need that focus of one-on-One. I check my surroundings, and then I trust that El Roi will set a guard around me while He and I talk.


And Let It Begin with Me

I was planning on writing a post about breed bans (I am 100% against them), but this morning at church, as usual, my mind was changed.

Apparently, pastors and churches are of the opinion that America will not see another big revival because they feel we’re too close to the second coming for it to happen.

How DARE they limit God?!

How DARE they decide that people no longer need to hear the gospel or have another opportunity to be saved?!

How DARE they ignore the part about only God knows when the rapture will be?!

Last time I checked, the job of Christians is to bring glory to God and to tell the world of the good news of the hope of salvation.

After September 11, 2001, many people in this country bent their knees and put their faith in God. Just because it may take something horrendous such as the deaths of over three thousand people in the first attack on US soil since December 7, 1941, to bring about a revival does not mean that revivals can or will not happen in this country again.

The excuse that surely we must be close to the rapture and second coming is just that: an excuse for laziness in the church. It’s an excuse for people to stay in their comfort zone or their bubble where they don’t risk being mocked or persecuted in some form for their beliefs and willingness to share those beliefs.

Here’s the thing: God is watching. If you have put your faith in Him and the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus but are not doing your job and in fact are living according to what the world wants you to do (usually, that’s the opposite of God), then you will be in trouble when you get to heaven regardless of it is following your death or the rapture.

I personally would rather see and hear of another revival in America because Christians are doing their job as Christians than because we suffered another massive tragedy. Have you considered that maybe we have so many shootings and hurricanes and fires because that is how people are coming to God?

President Trump this past week said that the attack on Christian-Judeo morals and values has come to an end. I cheered when I read that. I know many Christians working in the secular workplace who have kept their mouths shut as their co-workers actually asked how to get to heaven or what does salvation mean because they (the Christians) were worried about getting made fun of or losing their jobs because they knew the answer. I know of Christians who got tired of being mocked and left the narrow path to blend in with the world. I know of Christians who have wandered so incredibly far from God that I shudder thinking of what it will take to bring them back to Him…because they saw the world profiting and appearing to have more fun than their Christian circle. All of them will have to answer for those choices. Maybe now that we have a president who has said that our morals and beliefs are not to be attacked, now that we can legally fight back, Christians will finally come out from under the rock they’ve been hiding and do their job. Maybe now, they will end this nonsense about “oh, America will never see another revival” and instead say, as the old song goes, “Lord, send a revival, and let it begin with me.”