My Parents Argued…

. . . and I’m glad they did.

Allow me to explain.

I have read and heard from various sources that when this or that couple got married, they felt awful fighting so much because their parents never fought. They figured they were doing something wrong and wanted to quit the marriage because of it.

Sidenote: I realize mine is likely the last generation to be able to say that some have never seen their parents fighting or arguing due to many, many homes not have both parents. That alone is quite tragic.

To continue. My parents argued in front us, their children. When we enter into a relationship, we know that arguing is going to happen. It still is awful, but it is actually a bit unavoidable – especially, from what I have heard and observed, once marriage happens. When I get married, my husband and I will not wait til the kiddos are in bed or send them outside before we voice our disagreement. Now, we might take a walk or go outside to work out the details, but I would be doing a great disservice to my children to let them grow up thinking that their father and I never fought.

However, my parents never struck at each other in anger. My dad has never ONCE raised his hand against my mom and vice versa.

When I was kind of sort of with this one guy, we fought. At one point, I did realize that it was not normal or right for me to be in tears or anxious every time I knew or thought I was going to see this guy. Unfortunately, I was too cowardly to do anything about it at that time. I thought things would just get better. They did not. One day, I realized something had changed. His whole attitude seemed to have gotten more threatening. One time, I turned and him in what appeared to be an attempt to backhand me. I immediately called my dad for back-up and getting out of that situation. I did not tell him what I had seen and what was going to happen, just that I needed him to make an appearance. Things ended with that male immediately after that incident.

Basically, this post is because I was thinking about a friend of mine who is still with someone who once attempted to hit her, not realizing that she’s pretty strong and would not stand for such a thing. She went back to him after taking a few weeks away because she loves him.

Here’s the thing: she might love him, but if he truly loves her, even alcohol will not cause him to ever think of raising a hand against her. What’s in the heart will eventually come out via words and/or actions.