There is a show on tv right now called Once Upon a Time. When it first came out, I could not stand the character of Regina, until we saw her as a younger version of herself in love with her Daniel. Obviously, we knew he was not a part of her happy ending since she ended up being the Evil Queen, but we still hoped she could be happy with him. At least, I still held onto some small hope that she would be happy with him.
She had Graham’s heart and forced affection from him. At first, I was super angry about that, even after she tried changing for the sake of Henry. She was just using him. Recently, having finished season four, I think differently about that. She was not just using him for physical satisfaction; she was trying to have some resemblance of a relationship. She didn’t want to be alone at night. She didn’t want to be alone at all.
The end of season four was heartbreaking for me. In the real world, she was too much of a villain to get a happy ending. In the Author’s new reality, where the villains won, she was too much of a hero to get a happy ending. Essentially, she just couldn’t win. She couldn’t be happy. She kept choosing to be happy, but every time she chose, something else came up to hurt her or to change the circumstances surrounding her choice to be happy (her sister, Marian, her sister again).
She started out as one of my least favourite characters – unrelatable, selfish, evil. Now she’s my favourite (ok, obviously aside from Captain Hook for obvious reasons) because she is truly relatable, lonely, longing to fit in and to find the love of her life. She has such a low sense of self-worth that regardless of all the good she has done, she still feels like she’s the least valuable of the heroes. She feels like she’s the one to be sacrificed to darkness after it leaves Gold because Emma is light, but she still sees herself as darkness.
Emma had a rough life growing up; no one will argue with that. She stands as a symbol of hope for viewers who also had a rough childhood – those in the foster system especially. Regina however, well, I hope she gets her happy ending. I hope she can have at least one season where she has a smooth path without having to constantly sacrifice left and right. I need her to be the symbol of hope for this hopeless romantic that eventually the sense of loneliness and not belonging are replaced with the security which comes with being truly desired here on earth by someone other than my Father in heaven.