Knife in the Back

Brothers in Badges. Brothers in Arms. Partners.

Such few words with such meaning!

You don’t expect someone claiming any of those titles to act so dishonorably as to not only question the reputation of one they claim as a partner or as a brother/sister, but to actually lie about the morals, ethics, level of professionalism of one with whom they work so closely…well. I don’t know how anyone would be able to trust them anymore as a partner.

This might seem random, right? Wrong. Someone who was supposed to have my back, someone I was supposed to trust with my life and the lives of those in my care, lied about me. By lying, this person called into question everything for which I have worked so hard – my morals, my ethics, my level of professionalism! My first instinct when the e-mail was read to me was to laugh. I thought for sure that the suit reading it was joking. Guess what? It wasn’t a joke.

It was a conspiracy.

When my base was changed, this person and their former partner tried to get any of us moved off of it. Thankfully, they were refused. Then circumstances left me without a partner, and this one pulled strings to get it. We had been friends. Gone out for drinks with our co-workers, one night we all had a get-together at their place.

Imagine my surprise when they turned out to be an awful partner. Rude to myself and my new co-workers. Rude to local heroes to the point of questioning their motives for joining public safety (per this person, firefighters are adrenaline junkies who only care about the thrill of the call with no regard for the victims). I caught the person trying to take supplies from places other than where we were supposed to without even asking the workers of that place. I told them about it, and they started watching inventory closer on the nights we were there. This person started pushing buttons on equipment they’ve never used and did not belong to our company. Equipment that had confidential patient information on it. I alerted the proper person about this and, thankfully, the private information had already been transmitted for the night (even though when I was telling my “partner” about this, I was told I “don’t know what I’m talking about” as that machine printed not transmitted. I was right.) This person tried to pick fights in front of those for whom we were supposed to be caring. I chose to not take the bait and did not respond other than to change the subject.

I started counting the days until my graduation when I could go PRN and not have to deal with that fool. Things got worse.

They drove through a construction site, compromising my physical well-being. They refused to lift properly, saying that proper lifting technique does not involve the legs. Guess who ended up with a hurt back when that poor technique endangered my patient? Me.

When this person was called into question, they played the victim. Nothing was done. Things got worse.

I finally figured out how I could sign each individual report rather than the overall consent. I began to exercise my RIGHT to read each report before signing. Did you know, that this makes someone difficult? Truthfully, I would not have pushed the issue to the point I did had my trust been completely in my partner. However, when someone goes to great lengths to seal reports before they can be read, to not allow me to know firsthand what is going on, and gets mad when I ask, I suspect they’re hiding something. Gone is the trust.

So now, I’m thinking I just can’t trust this person, but they might still have a decent skill set and knowledge. That changed when a trip was rejected by not me because this person claimed we were not equipped to reverse the effects of something should it go wrong. 1) We did have what they denied we had. 2) That something was not in the protocol to be used.

Now, I know I can’t trust their skill set either.

I’m writing this the day after I was told that I was pulled from my base because this person complained that I was difficult. They complained that I added pertinent and necessary by policy information to the report – even though I initialed it that yes it was me who added it. Did you know that’s wrong? It’s actually not, but obviously this person skipped the legalism part of training and has self-admitted to not liking to read – so keeping up with current events, policies, laws, does not happen.

I put in my notice and requested to finish my two weeks at my base, on the rig that has been my home 25% of my life for over three years. I was denied because the feelings of this person were offended. The person replacing me? Their old partner.

My trusted friends are slowly pulling the knife from my back. But knowing that someone would stoop so low as to betray everything it is to be a partner, would become so corrupt and hostile as to bully me onto a different base, is absolutely mind-blowing to me. I was raised traditionally, and I realize that not everyone has been blessed in that way. But to be cussed out at work in front of co-workers (oh, did I not mention that? Yeah, that happened too.) because someone does not come anywhere near the high-leveled bar of standards I have set for myself, and to be punished for refusing to cower before a bully who needs the ego to counteract lack of skill and knowledge is a completely different betrayal. That sword through the back will take a long, long time to remove without damaging vital organs.



One thought on “Knife in the Back

  1. I seem to feel the need to respond to your blog. These things do happen in a world of imperfect human beings. I am so very sorry that it had to happen to you. It sounds like you had uncommon good sense and handled it well. Your analysis was absolutely correct, you ran afoul of a crass worker who did not have high standards and did not care for his patients the way that you do. You are a remarkable young lady and should hold your head high for taking the high road and ignoring the obvious baiting. Stay on the path and be very proud of who you are!

    Liked by 1 person

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